Will Someone Ever Help Me?
by NekoItaliaRomana
Summary: What happened to Romano? Why does he act differently? Who will help him learn that what he thinks is wrong? Who will he allow to help him, and how far will he let them in to his world? depressed!Romano and ooc!Germany Rated for Romano's mouth and depressing thoughts.
1. Dinner and my nightmare

**Hey Guys! This is my first story. I hope it goes well..**

_**I do own Hetalia and nor will I ever. I wish I could**** though.**_

Why? Why has no one ever loved me? Nonno Roma always took Veneziano instead of me. What can I do? I can only farm and grow tomatoes. I can't draw worth shit, I can't cook well, I can't communicate with people well. Just face it. I can't do anything. Now look at my _fratellino_. He can do anything he sets his mind to. Hell, he can do anything even if he thinks he can't. He draws amazingly well, he's a wonderful cook, he communicates extremely well with anyone and everyone. But, hey! I'm still part of Italy whether I like it or not. So I still count for something, don't I?

"Romano! Dinnertime!" Veneziano called from downstairs. I rolled off of my bed and stood up. I stretched my hands to the ceiling and heard my back crack softly. I very, very small smile made its way to my face as I sighed in brief contentment before I pulled my arms down and headed down stairs. I heard my sneakers plunking softly as they hit each step on the way down. As if counting how many times I'd actually have before I would crack under _fratellino's_ popularity too soon. NO! I will not think like that! I walked into the dining room and saw Veneziano putting the lasagna on the table.

"Ve~! Can you go get the grated cheese from the fridge, per favore?" Veneziano asked me. I glared lightly at him.

"Fine," I grunted and went into the kitchen and straight to the fridge in the corner of the room and opened it to find the cheese he wanted. He grabbed a spoon from one of the drawers near the sink and made his way back to the dining room. Placing them on the table, I sat down again and noticed that the potato bastard wasn't at our table for once. "I'm surprised the potato bastard isn't here."

"He had to go home to check to see that Gilbert hadn't destoryed it, ve~" Veneziano replied in his usual cheery tone. I rolled my eyes, I wasn't complaining about him not being here. Personally, I really couldn't care less where that bastard was. Veneziano put a piece of lasagna on my plate, then a piece on his. We put the cheese on our meals, and then ate. Huh. I didn't feel as hungary as I normally do. "...Lovino!"

"Hm? What?" I mumbled. I hadn't been paying attention to him at all.

"Why aren't you eating as much today?" Veneziano sounded really worried and upset. I looked at my plate and realised that I had only eaten about a quarter to half of it. I pushed it away as I also realised that I had stopped eating because I wasn't hungary anymore.

"I don't know, idiot! I'm just not that hungary is all!" I tried to cover that I had been spacing out as I had been eating. I stood up and started to walk away, not paying attention to him anymore. I walked upstairs and to my bathroom and took a shower. I turned the water on to as hot as it could go and stepped into it. As I did, I heard my skin hiss as it was burned. I didn't care. My skin was already red. I scrubbed as hard as I could my skin and tried to get the feeling that I was nothing out of my mind. I crubbed to point that my skin was lightly bleeding. When I realised this, I was a little surprised. That had never happened before. Oh whatever. I'll deal with it after. I rinsed off all the soap and stepped out. I dried off, uncaring of the bloody skin, and wrapped the towel around my lower body. I walked to my room and saw Veneziano sitting on my bed.

"What the hell are you doing in my room, Veneziano?!" I quickly went over to my dresser and put on a pair of underwear first, Then lket the towel frop to finish getting dressed. As I was putting on my temporary pajamas, he looked at my with a very concerned expression which was very rare for him."What's wrong _fratello_? You've been getting really distant lately," Veneziano had so much worry in his voice, that I scoffed. He wasn't actually concerned about me, he just didn't our country to have a bad reputation then it already did.

"Nothing is wrong, idiot. I just want to go to sleep. We have a world meeting tomarrow. Did you forget about it?" I reminded him. He sprang up and started ranting about how we weren't going to be ready and he ran out of the room. I sighed. I had gotten to get him distracted. I didn't think that he'd notice that easily. Hell, I hadn't even noticed. Eh, whatever. I had to get to bed. Hopefully I wouldn't dream about bad memories of people not wanting me.

* * *

Tears ran down my cheeks as I saw Spain begging Austria to take me back. I couldn't take anymore rejection as a little kid like I am. I managed to hold in sobs so they couldn't hear me. I ran down Austria's driveway and through the woods back to Spain's house. All the while tears ran down my cheeks. Ass I ran, I felt hands reach out to grab me and feet coming out to try and trip me. Voices yelled at me, telling me that I was useless, fat, a jerk, good-for-nothing, and that I shouldn't be here. I cried harder, because they were right. I really shouldn't be here. Even if Italy is broken up, there still shouldn't be two personifications. I should just be gone. Even Spain who I thought had loved me and accepted me for who I was, had lied to me. Just like everyone else. That's all anyone does is lie to me.

I already know that I shouldn't be here. The voices continued to tell me how I should die and leave, because no one liked me anyways. The feet continued to trip me as I just stood back up again and continued to run back to Spain's house. The hands continued to grab me and drag me away. They were just reminding me that I had no one that really wanted me, anyways. My legs gave out and I looked out and screamewd for help. Spain walked up to me and laughed.

"_No one wants you Romano. Just face the reality already. Just go away. Your brother will always be better than you will ever hope to be_," Spain's words cut through me like knives and I believed him. I could trust him to tell me the truth right? But Spain wasn't done. His pirate smirk adorned his face as his boot kicked into my stomach, cracking my bottom ribs. I screamed in pain and couldn't seem to stop as tears streamed down my face like rivers...

"AH!" I screamed and bolted up in my bed. I felt hot tears running down my face as I breathed heavily. _Fratellino_ came running in my bedroom a second later. He hugged asking me a thousand times what was wrong. I just shook my head. "Nothing's wrong, idiot."

"_Fratello_, don't lie to me, per favore. What's wrong?"Veneziano pushed me to say something. I didn't respond. I just got out of his hug and turned away from him, closing my eyes and willing him to go away. I heard him sigh and mumble under his breath as he walked out of my room...

"I love you _fratello_. Don't ever think otherwise."

* * *

**This is the first chapter. I hoped you enjoyed it!**


	2. The meeting and Germany loves who!

**Hey guys! This is the second chapter. What will happen? It's just a tad bit slow. but it changes to Germany's view point somewhere. I hope it's good.**

_**I do not own Hetalia,** **sadly.**_

I woke up the next morning with dried up tears tracks on my face. Then I remember what I dreamed about. I felt as my heart formed another crack in it. I stood up and went to my bathroom. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, brushed my hair, and when I looked in the mirror my eyes were only a little red and my face was pale. I sighed and left the bathroom. I walked to my closet and pulled on my maroon shirt, black tie, and tan suit. I left and walked downstairs to get my brother so we could leave.

"Hey, idiot. Hurry up so we can leave for the meeting already," I said. I straightened out our papers and made sure we had everything I had prepared for the meeting. I scratched my forearm, then pulled my sleeves down.

"_Fratello_ aren't you going to eat?" Veneziano asked. I looked up at him and his big amber eyes were swimming with worry. It wasn't real I knew.

"No. Are you done so we can leave?" I asked back, looking away and snapping the bag shut. I picked the bag up and just walked away.

"Ve~! You should eat something _Fratello_!" he shouted after me. I shook my head and just ignored him. He followed me and sat in the passanger seat. I threw the bag in the backseat and got into the drivers seat. I turned the car on and drove us to the building.

When we got there, I parked far away from the door. Veneziano jumped out of the car and ran to the building to go see the potato bastard. I rolled my eyes and got the bag from the backseat. I locked the doors and started walking slowly to the room. When I got there, everyone was already there. Veneziano was being fussed over by Spain. That hurt a little. Another crack in my heart formed. No one payed attion as I reluctantly took a seat next to _fratellino_. I put the bag on the table and then stared blankly at the table. Absently I started to scratch at my forearm again under my sleeve.

"Sud Italia, are you ok?" I heard a gruff voice ask from beside me. I looked up from the table and saw Germany looking at me with concern. He wasn't concerned for me either. Only for the well-being for the country as a whole. No one actually cared about me, only the country I represented.

"Fine, you potato bastard," I snapped back, hate evident in my voice. I really had no reason to hate him, as he never did anything to my and he called me South Italy in my own language. He just didn't care about me at all, as no one did.

"Then why are scratching your arm till it bleeds and staring at the table?" he asked. I shrugged and stopped scratching. I pulled my sleeve down and turned away from him. He sighed and called the meeting to order. I didn't pay attention to any of it. When it was _fratellino_ and I's turn, he went while I did nothing. He didn't even ask. When he was done, everyone told him how well he did on it. It's not fair because I did that presentaion. I did it! Not _fratellino_! I faught the tears easily, as it wasn't the first time that this had happened.

After the meeting, I packed everything up as fast as I could. I could hear Spain with Veneziano again. Noone talked to me anyways. I was supossed to be used to it, so why was this so difficult to do? I clenched my fist, but that disrupted the skin on my forearm that I was scratching earlier. I felt as blood ran down my arm and dripped off me and onto the floor. My own body hated me and wanted to go away.

"Sud Italia! What did you do?!" I heard Germany right next to him and before I could do anything, he grabbed my wrist and pulled my sleeve up to see why there was blood there. My entire forearm was bleeding from the scratch marks. He dragged me to the bathroom and turned the faucet on, gently putting my forearm under the running water. It stung, but not as bad as it should've. I took the pain in as a good thing. No one wanted me anyways. "What were you thinking Italy?!"

I froze, as he called me what so many people called _fratellino_. No he didn't mean it. He only called me that because he's used to Veneziano doing stupid things, and ending up hurting himself. A single tear ran down my face as I pulled my arm from Germany's grip and I looked up at him.

"I'm not my _fratello_, so don't treat me like I am," I said, fighting as sobs tried to escape from my throat. I ran away from him and to my car. I unlocked it and threw myself into the driver's seat. Starting the car, I drove carelessly out of the parking lot. I almost got hit in the process, but I don't care. Let them hit me. I drove as fast as I could to my house and turned the car off. I ran into the house and up to my room. My arm was bleeding the whole time but I didn't care. I locked my bedroom door and threw myself on my bed. The person that actually didn't call me my brother's name, had called me by what everyone calls him. He yelled at me, like he does to Veneziano. I felt my heart finally break into pieces. Why does this happen to me?!

* * *

"I'm not my _fratello_, so don't treat me like I am," Sud Italia said as I saw he tried to hold in sobs. Before I could do anything, he ran away from me. I sighed and walked back to the meeting room. I'll try to talk to him once he calms down a little bit. I walked through the door and was imediatly attacked by a different Italian.

"Doitsu! Where were you? Can we go get something to eat? Maybe pasta?" Italy was rambling again. He kept going on about how much he loved pasta. I stopped listening to him and pushed him off of me and got up off the floor.

"Whatever. Just stop going on and on about it. Mien Gott," I said. He pouted but grabbed my hand and dragged me off to his favorite restaurant. I pulled my hand from his grasp. He pouted again, but I just rolled my eyes.

"What's the matter Doitsu?" he asked, his amber eyes going wide. I shook my head. He pouted yet again and dragged me into the restaurant. He ordered for both of us in rapid Italian. He turned back to me said, "I'm worried about _fratello_, Doitsu. He hasn't been himself lately."

"Really?" I asked, in surprise. So it wasn't just today that the Italian seemed off. He nodded.

"Last night he had a nightmare, but he wouldn't tell what it was about, and he doesn't eat a lot. He's says he's not hungary. Ve~! I'm just worried and he won't tell me anything," he whined and he pouted for a fourth time. As I thought about the Italian, I realised just how worried I was. And I realised how much I like him. I might be falling for him. How would the Italian take it? He didn't like me one bit. Oh, Scheiße.

* * *

**Did you like it? Please let me know! :)**

**Romano: Why is the potato bastard trying to help me?!**

**Veneziano: Oh don't say that, _fratello_! He's not that bad! Ve~!**

**Romano: Che. Whatever. He better not come any closer.**

**Me: Why what would you do?**

**Romano: *grumbles and just walks away* Whatever.**

**Veneziano: Ve~! You don't think Doitsu's bad, do you?**

**Me: Not at all Vene, not at all. :)**

**Veneziano: Ve~! Yay~!**

**Me: HaHa bye guys!**

**Veneziano: CIAO~!**


	3. Wow, do you actually care?

**Hey! Three chapters in one day! Wow! I hope to be able to do at least two every day. Let's see how that turns out, shall we? lol**

_**I do not own**_** Hetalia.**

After we ate in the restaurant, we went back to the Italian's house. It was an hour after Sud Italia had run off. I was glad to see his car in the drive-way. Italy dragged me to the living room and put the tv on. He fell asleep in a half an hour. He was leaning against my chest and lap and I gently picked him up, as to not wake him, and stood up. I put him back on the couch and went to go find Sud Italia, who would most likely be in his room.

"Sud Italia?" I called from outside his locked bedroom door.

"G-go a-away!" he shouted. I could hear that he had been crying only a few minutes ago.

"Nien, now please let me in Sud Italia," I begged him. I heard him get off his bed and walk slowly to the door. Once I heard the click, I threw the door open and pulled him into a hug. I don't know why, but I don't feel akward around him.

"W-what?" he sounded really confused. I just hugged him harder.

"Sorry, I didn't come sooner. I wanted to give you time to calm down a little bit, then you're _bruder_ was dragging me out to eat. Then he made me watch tv with him. He's sleeping now, danke Gott," I said. I noticed that Sud Italia was shaking in my grip. I frowned. "What's the matter?"

"It's al..._ ino_," he mumbled into my shoulder, so I couldn't get what he said. I frowned again.

"I didn't hear you, Sud Italia, please speak up," I said softly.

"It's always my _fratellino_!" He shouted into my shoulder this time. I frowned, confused. I pulled back a little bit and put my hands on his shoulders.

"What do you mean?" I asked. He just shook his head and pulled away from me. He threw himself face first into the pillow. I was about to sit next to him and ask him again, when...

"Doitsu! Doitsu! Where are you?!" a panicked Italian was shouting for him downstairs. I was going to ignore him, when Sud Italia lifted his head.

"Just go. He probably had another bad dream," he grumbled it out and put his face back in the pillow. I sighed, as I didn't want to.

"If you want me to, I will. I'll be back to check on you tonight before I go home," I promised him. I just went downstairs to see what the pesky Italian wanted.

* * *

"If you want me to, I will. I'll be back to check on you tonight before I go home," I heard him say before he went downstairs to see what _fratellino_ wanted. He wouldn't actually come back, no one ever does. How can I trust him anyways? I called me Italy earlier. Only _fratellino_ gets called that. I don't want him to confuse me for Veneziano all the time. He did seem to not want to leave me. But he did when I told him to. He wouldn't just leave if he was truely worried about me, even if I told him to, right? I tried to hold in the tears, but I couldn't. I eventually fell into a light sleep.

I woke up when I heard my bedroom door open. I opened my red eyes to see Germany. He really did come back, I was surprised to say the least. I saw him smirk at the expresion that must have been on my face.

"Ja, I actually came back like I said I would. I did promise you, didn't I?" I nodded slightly. I was truely shocked. No one had ever came back when they said they would. They came back sure, but it would always be on a completely different day. Germany came over to me and hugged me again. "What's the matter Lovino?"

"L-lovino?" I was shocked that he had said my name. He looked at me a little confused.

"That's your name," he said, a frown forming on his face.

"N-no one e-ever calls me that b-besides _f-fratellino_," I said softly, choking over my words because I was still trying to hold sobs back.

"Really? Then I'll call you that from now on, Lovino. Now tell me what's wrong, please," he said, on the verge of begging. I could hear it in his voice.

"_F-fratellino_ i-is better than m-me," I said quietly, hoping he wouldn't hear it. He did.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked with disbelief in his voice. I shook my head again, not going any further. I just leaned against him, with my head against his chest, listening to his rapid heart beat. I fell asleep, wondering why it was beating so much much faster than it was supossed to.

* * *

**How was it? A little short, sorry. **

**Romano: I thought I told you not to have me close to the potato bastard?!**

**Germany: um... Why do I act different?**

**Me: Shut up Romano, and because you only act like in front of Romano. ;)**

**Germany: ... *walks away***

**Veneziano: Why did Doitsu walk away?**

**Me: Never mind, See y'all later!**

**Romano: Ciao.**

**Veneziano: Ve~! Hasta la Pasta!**


	4. Smiles until you leave me

**Hey guys! This chapter was kinda fun to right at parts. The POV changes many times. I think it should be easy to tell who it changes to.**

_**I do not own Hetalia.**_

When I opened my eyes the next morning, I felt the soft rise and fall of someone breathing under me and I heard a heard beating calmly. Their hand was wrapped around my waist. I smiled. This felt nice, but I knew it wouldn't last. All good things must come to end at some point. I fell back into a light sleep.

I was woken up a half hour later by the person trying not to move to much. I looked up and saw Germany sitting with my head in his lap now. I got up and he looked at me again.

"Sorry for waking you up, Lovino. I tried not to wake you up," Germany said. I yawned quietly.

"It's ok. I was awake about a half an hour ago," I replied back. I was still happy that I got to cuddle with someone. Even if it was the potato bastard. Wait... "Didn't you say you were going to go home after?"

"I decided to stay. You looked happy with you cuddled up to my chest. I didn't want to wake you," he said with a shrug. I blushed lightly.

"Ya, well. Don't get used to it!" I shouted, even though I wanted to do it all the time. He was the only person that was still with me. He actually kept his promise. Though I haven't forgotten that he had called me by what he calls _fratellino_. I'll watch him, and be cautious.

* * *

"Ya, well. Don't get used to it!" he shouted. I could see the adorable blush on his face. I could feel flutters in my stomach again. I just smiled. I could tell that he still was uncertain, though he wanted to trust me. I wanted to gain his trust, but I knew that it would take a little time.

"Well let's go downstairs to eat breakfast," I said. He looked hesitant but put a frown on his face.

"I'm not hungry," he said. I thought I remembered Italy saying that Lovino said he wasn't hungry lately. I frowned.

"You have to eat something. I didn't eat all day yesterday. And you barely ate dinner the night before," I said. He looked at me and got a panicked look for a millisecond, before replacing it with a scowl.

"How do you know, potato bastard?" he yelled. Damn it.

"Your _bruder_ told me you didn't eat muchof dinner or any breakfast. He's worried about you. And I know you didn't eat lunch or dinner yesterday," I said. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because he pulled back a little.

"You only know because _fratellino_ told you?" he asked. He turned away and I could see a tear escape from his right eye.

* * *

"You only know because _fratellino_ told you?" I asked. So he's only doing this because Veneziano told him to? I turned away as a tear managed to escape from my right eye. And just I'd started to trust him, too. Of course it was too good to be true. I didn't care about me at all, just like everyone else. I should have known better. And I know _fratellino_ doesn't care about me anyway, so he wasn't worried about me.

Germany went to touch my cheek, but I flinched away from him. He sighed and got up. He looked over to me, again.

"Come on, let's go eat. Only if it's a little bit. You need some food in your system. Plus I want you to eat something, I don't want you to get sick," he said. I shook my head. I wasn't hungry, plus I still didn't believe him. I didn't care if I got sick, either. He walked over to me and picked me up bridal style. I panicked. I didn't want him to drop me!

"H-hey! Put me d-down!" I stuttered. I held on to me tighter.

"Don't worry, I won't drop you. I don't want to hurt you. And you need to eat something so you don't get sick," he said sternly, but still softly. I didn't say anything, so he moved out into the hallway. He walked to the staircase, and I tensed again. He held me tighter and walked down slowly, one step at a time. When we got to the bottom, I relaxed a little bit. He walked to the kitchen and he placed me softly on a chair. Veneziano was already cooking something.

"Ve~! Good morning Lovino~! Good morning Doitsu~!" he said happily. I scoffed silently at his cheerfulness towards me. He only did it 'cause there was a guest. Though Germany's over enough times, you could hardly call him a guest anymore.

"Guten morgen, Italy," he replied. I stayed silent. Veneziano looked over to me with a frown.

"Ve! Are you feeling alright Lovino?" he asked in a concerned tone. I glared at him.

"Of course I'm alright, idiot! Why wouldn't I be?" I yelled at him.

"Ve! I'm sorry, but you didn't respond and you seemed upset yesterday!" I cried back in that child's voice of his.

"Italy, calm down." Germany said firmly, but quietly. It could be taken as gently, which I did. Veneziano turned back to cooking, and I frowned. I tear formed in my eye. I wiped it away before anyone could notice.

Germany looked back at me and noticed my frown. He walked over to me again and hugged me tightly.

"Don't be mad. He's only worried about you, Lovino," he whispered in my ear so _fratellino_ couldn't hear. I shook my head slightly, not wanting Germany to notice. He did, though, and he pulled back enough to look at me. He gave me a questioningly look and I just shook my head again.

"Ve~! Breakfast is ready!" Veneziano called from the stove. Germany seemed reluctant to let me go, but he did. He frowned as he did, though. I looked up at him with a neutral expression. Veneziano put plates on the table. He put more food on my plate then on his or Germany's!

"Hey! Why did you put so much food on my plate?!" I demanded, with a deep frown on my face.

"Ve~! You need to eat. You didn't eat yesterday," he replied.

"How do you know I didn't eat the meeting, eh? When you were with Germany?" I said it with venom in my voice. Veneziano recoiled back a bit, but he answered.

"Ve! You would've left the dishes in the sink," he replied. I frowned and sighed angrily. I ate a very small portion of the eggs, a quarter of small piece of bacon, and drank a couple sips of milk that Germany put in front of me.

"That's all you're going to eat, Lovino?" Germany asked, looking at my plate. I scowled.

"Ya, you bastard. I told you I wasn't hungry. You're lucky I ate anything at all," I grumbled out. He sighed, but smiled.

"Danke for eating what you could, Lovino. At least you put some food in you're system," he said it softly and nicely. He looked up at him in surprise. He had a small relaxed smile on his face as he looked at me.

* * *

I looked at _fratello_ and Doitsu talking together. I know I'm worried about _fratello_, but he's taking my Doitsu away from me! I scowled, but quickly masked it so they wouldn't see it. I needed to do something about Lovino taking Doitsu from me. Though Doitsu did get Lovino to eat something without forcing him to. Which is a first considering that Lovino doesn't even like Doitsu.

"Ve~! Lovino, could you clean up the dishes for me, per favore?" I pleaded, looking up at him. He looked up to me and I saw hurt flicker quickly across his face before he scowled at me.

"Why should I do it?" he grumbled. I fake pouted.

"Ve~! Doitsu and I need to go to Japan's house today!" I said.

"When did he ask that?" Germany almost growled out. I looked at him with a fake confused look.

"Ve! Did you forget that Japan asked us to yesterday after the meeting?" I answered back. I wasn't lying, but he hadn't said that we needed to go there right away. I just needed to keep Doitsu and _fratello_ away from each other. I didn't notice as Lovino stared at me, knowing what I was doing.

* * *

When _fratellino_ and Germany left, I screamed out in frustration in my pillow. I knew what that bastard was doing. He was trying to keep Germany away from me. But Germany didn't insist that he had to stay with me, and that hurt. I couldn't trust him. Everytime that I thought I could, he did something that made me not trust him again. Everyone I trusted or tried to get close to me, was always pulled away from me. They always went to _fratellino_, always. Sobs started tearing themselves from my throat, as tears ran from my eyes. Why was everyone taken from me? What did I do to deserve this?!

'Knock, knock!'

Who could be at the house now? I quickly dried my tears and wiped my face. I stopped the sobs for now. I walked to the front door and opened it to find Spain.

"Hola, Romano! Is you hermano home?" he asked, trying to look past me. I scowled.

"No, you bastard. He and Germany went to Japan's house," I said, slamming the door in his face. I heard him whine on the other side of the door.

"Romano! You almost hurt me!" he complained, childishly. I scoffed. He actually does hurt me all the time.

"Good! Serves you right, ya bastard," I shouted at him through the door.

"What did I ever do to you?" he asked. I could almost hear his pout.

"HA! What haven't you done to hurt me? Now go away you tomato bastard!" I yelled and stomped up to my room. I could hear him yelling after me. I eventually heard him drive away, and that's when I started to cry again.

I walked to the kitchen, when it was only sniffling and tears. I grabbed the knife from the knife block and softly put it to my wrist. I hadn't don't it before, but I heard that it felt good when you did. I took a deep breath and sliced it deep across my wrist.

I cried out in pain. I dropped the knife to the floor as blood splattered onto the counter and clothes. I had accidentally cut the artery, as I had cut a little deeper than I wanted to. I watched the blood flow out of me and onto the floor. It did feel good to watch the blood flow out of my wrists. It felt like my problems were leaving me for once. I felt like I could fly, or do anything I wanted.

I eventually fell onto the cold tile floor. My closed slowly as I watched my beautiful red blood fall out of the cut and onto the floor. Slowly, though my vision faded to black.

* * *

**Oh No! What happened to Romano? Will he be ok?**

**You'll find out next chapter! Don't ya just love cliffhangers? I love them when I'm writing them. :)**

**Sorry, but I'll post soon! Bye Bye Guys! Hasta la Pasta!**


	5. Trusting you, not Fratellino

**Hey guys, again! I tried to finish this last night, but I didn't get to. My school has a late start today, so I finished it now. Well here ya go! Enjoy!**

_**I do not own Hetalia.**_

Italy dragged me to Japan's house, and I had a bad feeling about what would happen to Lovino. He wouldn't do well by himself, and he's going to think that I abandoned him. I sighed.

"Is something wrong Germany-san?" Japan asked. I looked up at the man who is usually silent, and remembered that he can read the atmosphere.

"Ja, I have a bad feeling about Lovino," I said quietly. Italy just kept talking, oblivious that Japan and I were talking to each other.

"Lovino?" he asked. I only nodded. We had already been here for quite a while. I sighed heavily and put my face in my hands looking downwards. "Maybe you should go check on him. Most of the time, bad feelings are almost always correct."

"Ja. Okay, well I'll go now," I said. I stood up and spoke louder to get Italy's attention. "Italy, I'm going to your house to go check on Lovino."

He pouted and looked up at me.

"Ve! Are you sure you want to? He's probably fine!" Italy said, I saw in his eyes that he was up to something.

"Ja, I'm sure," I said firmly, leaving no room for argument. I left and jogged back to Italy and Lovino's house. When I got there, I walked in and smelt a metallic smell in the air. It was heavy. I frowned and followed it to the kitchen. When I saw Lovino on the ground, my eyes widened in fear and I ran to him. I dropped beside him and saw the knife on the floor next to him. I looked back to Lovino and saw that he had a deep cut on his wrist, right at his artery.

I took a clean towel I saw on the counter and wrapped it around his wrist firmly, tucking it under a little to keep it there. I called Italy on my cell phone. He picked up after the second ring.

"Ciao!" his happy voice rang through the phone.

"Veneziano, where is the nearest hospital from your house?" I said in a panicked voice.

"Ve! Down the street to the right and then to your left a quarter mile. Why?" he asked, I could hear the frown in his voice.

"Danke! I'll call you again soon!" I hung up and stuffed my cell phone in my pocket before I picked Lovino up and ran out the door. I'll clean up the blood later. I ran towards the right and then took an immediate left. About a quarter of mile later, the hospital came into view. I ran faster and burst into the room. A nurse was right there who took him, apparently she saw me from down the street.

"I'll take care of him, please wait here for now, sir," she said calmly, then rushed to the back to stabilize him. I sigh and sat in a chair, realizing at that moment that tears were running down my face. My phone rang and I answered it.

"Ja?" I asked, trying to mask my broken sounding voice.

"Ve! What's wrong Germany? What happened? Why do you sound like your crying?" he asked in a panick, not knowing that his brother was in the hospital from blood loss. I took a deep breath before I answered him.

"I found your brother in the kitchen on the floor in a puddle of his own blood. It seems he has... cut himself severely... I don't know why yet. There trying to stabilize him now at the hospital," I said slowly, not trusting myself to not burst into tears.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," that's all I heard before I heard a click. Not ten minutes later, Veneziano came bursting through the door looking frantically for me. He saw me sitting in one of the chairs and rushed over to me. "Is he ok? Do you know? Oh god, how did this happen? I feel like a bad _fratello_ because I said he would be right! I wish we wouldn't have left! We could have stopped him from doing this! How-"

"Shush, Veneziano," I said as firmly as I could. He looked up at me with tear filled eyes. I hesitated in hugging him. I didn't feel as easy-going as I did with Lovino. "He'll probably be alright, just calm down."

"Sir?" I looked up to see the same nurse who took him. "We have stabilized him for now. You may see him."

I nodded and followed her to Lovino's room. Veneziano followed me. She opened the door and I went in. He was hooked up to oxygen, there was a blood bag hooked up to him giving him blood, and he was extremely pale. A tear escaped my eye as I moved towards him on his left side. I took his hand and squeezed lightly. Veneziano went to his other side and looked down at his _bruder_. I looked down to see Lovino's pale but beautiful face. It looked peaceful for now.

So I sat beside him, waiting for him to wake up. I still held his hand, though.

* * *

As I was just starting to wake up, I felt a big warm hand in my left hand. I felt to weak to open my eyes. I also heard a beeping noise and mentally frowned. Where was I? Why wasn't I dead? Or was this where you went when you did die? Cause that beeping noise is annoying. I gently squeezed the hand in my own and it squeezed back.

"Lovino, Are you awake?" I heard a deep, but soft voice ask from above me. I tried to open my eyes when I heard that voice. I knew it was Ludwig. I managed to open them this time, and I saw his pretty face. But he looked worried.

"Si, I think so," I said in a raspy voice.

"Oh here, let me help you," he said. He lifted me into a sitting position and held a glass of water in front of my lips. I opened my mouth slightly and drank a bit of it. After I was done, he put the glass back on the little table in the room. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I just got hit by a car," I replied back. I squeezed his hand, which was still in mine. I looked around the room and saw _fratellino_ in the corner of the room curled up in Spain's lap facing me. They were both sleeping. I frowned and tears came to my as eyes for some reason.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Ludwig asked. He followed my eyes to Veneziano and looked back to me. He sat on the bed beside me and wrapped me in a huge, warm hug. It felt nice and I borrowed my face into his shoulder. "Hey, don't worry about him. He was here the whole time like I was. Spain just came in a few days ago."

"A few days ago? How long have I been in here?" I asked, though it was muffled by his shoulder. He hugged me a little tighter.

"About a month," I replied. I pulled back and looked at him in shock. "You did lose a lot of blood, Lovino. And the hospital feeds me and lets me takes showers, since I refuse to leave."

"What about _fratellino_?" I whispered. Ludwig looked over to him for a second, then looked back at me.

"He left to shower and eat, then came back. Everyday. But a couple days ago, he went to get Spain. He's been here too, though he leaves to shower and eat, also," he replied. So Ludwig stays and refuses to leave, but _fratellino_ doesn't. Now I knew I could trust Ludwig a bit more. I looked over at Spain in disgust for the first time in my life. He never cared about me anyways. Hell he tried to get rid of me!

"Grazie for telling me,"I said. I hugged him, but this time I put my head on his chest. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and pull me closer to his body. Tears came to my eyes as I thought that I trusted Ludwig more than _fratellino_. It didn't sound right, but it felt right to say or think. I smiled into his chest. I heard _fratellino_ get up, but I didn't care right now. I burrowed my face even deeper into Ludwig's chest.

"Ve~! _Fratello_! You're awake!"he cried out. That woke Spain up and he looked over to me as I was cuddled into Ludwig. Ludwig didn't move, and neither did I. I peeked up from his shoulder to look at Spain for a second, and he had a hurt frown on his face. I went back down to Ludwig's chest and borrowed myself deep again. It was really, really warm.

_Fratellino_ hugged me from behind and I tensed. He must have felt it because I felt a tear slip from his eye and he let go. I turned my head to peek up at him and he was silently crying. I felt a little bad, but I couldn't trust him anymore. I felt a tear slip my eye as I thought about that. I closed my eyes and turned my head to face into Ludwig's chest again. I heard _fratellino_ leave the room.

"Wait, Italy! Where are you going?" he called as he left to go follow him, slamming the door shut behind him. Ludwig kissed the top of my head and I looked up at him curiously. He looked back with a soft smile.

"It's ok Lovino. I'm here for you," he said. I smiled a rare smile and kissed his cheek. I guess I did like him, now that I thought about it. He was handsome, strong, protective of the ones he loved, and he had a soft side that was just for me.

"Why do you only show your soft side when it's just the two of us? I've never seen you do it when there are other people around," I looked up at him as I watched him smile faintly.

"Because I only feel comfortable doing around you, lieben," he said. **(love)** I smiled and kissed his cheek again, then burrowed my face into chest, as I fell asleep his arms.

* * *

I ran out _fratello_'s room and booked it down the hallway with tears running down my face. I heard Antonio behind me.

"Wait, Italy! Where are you going?" he called, chasing me. I ran out of the hospital and Antonio caught me from behind. I was going to collapse on the floor of he hadn't been holding me. I started to sob and I hid my face in his shoulder, trying to hide them. Antonio was rubbing my back. "Hey , hey. It's ok. What are you crying for?"

"_F-fratello_ w-was hug-ging D-doitsu, a-and he di-idn't e-even r-really lo-ok at m-me. A-and I-I felt-t hi-im t-tense u-up when-n I hug-ged h-him. _F-fratello_ do-oesn't-t tru-ust m-me a-anymore," I choked out, in between sobs. I hugged Antonio tighter and tried to stop the sobs, but they wouldn't stop.

"Shh... Shh... I'm sure that's not true. Why wouldn't he trust you anymore?" Antonio asked with a calming voice, though he was confused. Why wouldn't Romano trust Italy anymore?

"B-bec-cause h-he l-looked-d a-at m-me like h-he d-didn't-t. I-I d-don't kn-now w-what t-to d-do A-anton-onio!" I cried even harder as I said that. I felt Antonio's finger hook under my chin and he made me look at him. My sobs stopped, but the tears wouldn't.

"If Romano doesn't trust you anymore, then we'll work together to get him to trust you again, okay?" he said in a determined tone. I nodded and then Antonio leaned a little closer to me. "Don't worry about it for now. I'll think of something to help."

Then Antonio closed the space between us, and he kissed me gently on the lips. My eyes widened at first, but they closed slowly as I started to kiss him back. Maybe I liked Antonio instead of Germany.

* * *

**Oooo, what's gonna happen between those two?**

**Veneziano: huh? I'm just glad _fratello_ is ok.**

**Romano: I'm fine you idiot.**

**Germany: Don't yell, Lovino, it's not nice.**

**Romano: *grumbles* Whatever.**

**Spain: Well Adios for now!**

**Me: *smiles and waves* Bye! See ya later!**


	6. I need you, and Germany lost it

**I'M SORRY I'M SORRY DON'T KILL ME! I had writer's block and then my little sister wouldn't stop bothering me. ugh! Well here it is, and it gets interesting.**

When I woke up, I was snuggled into Ludwig's chest. They had taken me off of the blood and oxygen. I looked up at Ludwig's sleeping face. He looked so peaceful, being in the world of dreams. I wondered what he was dreaming about. I was startled by the door opening. I turned slightly to the doctor walking in.

"Mr. Vargas. You can go home, if you want," he said. I nodded.

"I'll wake him in up in a few minutes," I replied quietly. The doctor nodded and left, closing the door behind him, making almost no noise. I looked back at Ludwig's face. About five minutes later, his beautiful icy blue eyes opened and looked at me. I smiled. "Good morning, Ludwig."

"Guten morgen, lieben," He said with a soft smile on his face.

"We have to leave. We can go home," I said. He nodded and got up, taking me with him. I felt good when I was around him, like everyone else just disappeared, along with the feeling that everyone loved my _fratellino_, cause I felt like he wasn't around when I was with this wonderful man.

That dream came crashing down around me when I walked out of the room with him. People were everywhere, and Veneziano was curled up on Spain's lap like a cat. They were both sleeping. Why couldn't they have waited in my room? That made me trust them even less. I wish I could trust my _fratellino_, but I couldn't. I turned to Ludwig.

"You're waking them up. I'll head home," I growled uneasily, and continued walking. I heard him attempt to go after me, but thought better of it. He sighed and turned to them. I just kept walking, making it outside after a minute. Then I continued walking home. It only took a couple minutes when you walk fast. As soon as I unlocked the door with the spare key, I walked to my bedroom. On the way, I looked on the walls. Every painting was Veneziano's work. I was then reminded that no one liked me, except Ludwig. I don't understand why he likes me instead of my _perfetto fratellino_. A tear escaped my eye, yet again, and fell to the floor that Veneziano had painted. Now that I think about it, he decorated and designed the entire house. I did nothing. He even took over my tomato garden.

I made it to my room and locked the door, just as I heard them get back as well. I threw myself on my bed, sad that I didn't do anything about the house. I didn't even cook or clean. Veneziano did everything. I curled into a ball on my bed, and I heard a knocking on my door.

"Lovino, please open the door. What's wrong?" I heard Ludwig's deep voice on the other side. I reluctantly got up and unlocked the door. As soon as it clicked, Ludwig opened the door and embarrassed me in a warm hug. I buried my face in his chest and he rested his cheek against the top of my head. "What's the matter?"

"I o-only remembered that m-my _fratel-lino_ did everything-g in this house. I-I did noth-thing," i sobbed out, my voice muffled by his strong chest. I felt him frown.

"Why do you think that?" he asked, tightening his hold even more.

"All the p-paintings are h-his, h-he cooks and cleans, he d-designed and d-decorated the entire h-house. H-he even took over my t-tomato g-garden," I complained into his chest. "I feel so useless. I-I'm not need-ded for anything! I might as well n-not live a-at all!"

"NEIN! I need you. And I'm sure your _bruder_ does too," he said. Even more tears fell from my eyes as he continued to hug my tightly.

* * *

"Hm, I wonder where Germany went?" I asked my little Feli.

"Ve~! I don't know where Germany is. I think he went upstairs to find Lovino," Feliciano said, feeling a little down as he thought about his _hermano_ not trusting him.

"Aw! Don't worry! You're _hermano_ probably trusts you! He-"

"He doesn't trust me! I saw it when he looked at me! And he won't even tell me why!" Feliciano cried, tears forming in his eyes. I frowned and thought. Why would Romano just stop trusting Feli anyway? What did Feli do to him? There really was nothing. Feli looked at me as I deflated, not having an answer to give him. He started crying and I rushed forwards and pulled him into a big hug.

"Hey, hey. Don't cry mi amor. I'm sure he has a reason! Why don't you ask him to give you an answer? Then when you figure out why Romano doesn't trust you, you can try to get him to trust you again!" I said, smiling. I felt Feli shake his head.

"Y-you don't kn-know how stub-born he can b-be!" H-he'll-l nev-ver tell-l me w-why," Feli sobbed into my chest. I frowned. If Romano won't tell Feli, then I'll get it from him myself. No matter what.

* * *

"Ludwig?" I asked. He looked at me from where he sat with me curled in my lap. We were laying down on my bed from when I got a sudden thought. "Aren't you hungry? You haven't eaten today, have you?"

"I am, but I'm not going to eat unless you do," he replied. I frowned.

"But I'm not hungary!" I protested. Ludwig frowned.

"You should be. Please eat something! You haven't eaten in a month, Lovino!" Ludwig said it softly, but I stilled flinched back a little. I heard him sigh sadly and he pulled me closer to his chest. "I'm not trying to scare you, I'm just worried about you. It's not normal that you wouldn't be hungary. You should be starving so much that you're stomach hurts. You haven't eaten in a month."

"I'm sorry, Ludwig," I whispered with tears running down my cheeks. I pulled away from him and stood up. Ludwig watched my every move. I sighed and whispered my next words as well. "If you want me too, I will l eat something. I don't want to be broken anymore."

I saw that he frowned when I said that I was broken, but I ignored him and walked downstairs. I heard him follow him closely after me.

* * *

I followed after him, but I was extremely worried. He was broken? How was he broken? I wanted to exactly what he was talking about, but I wouldn't push it. He was telling me what was wrong at his pace, and that was good enough. I knew I was the only person, besides Lovino of course, that was close to having him tell to anyone. And I was glad that that someone, was me. I cared about him the most and I knew that he felt rejected by his brother being with Spain. Spain raised Lovino and Spain threw him away for his brother. I knew Spain had tried to trade Lovino for Veneziano. I heard Austria talking about it to Hungary one day.

"I'm glad you're going to eat something. You need a little bit of food in your stomach," I told him, complete and totally honesty in my voice. There was something else there too, but I don't know if Lovino caught it or not. There was love behind my voice as well. We made it to the kitchen, and Veneziano was being hugged in Spain's arms, while Veneziano was calming down from crying. I gritted my teeth at the way Spain looked over at Lovino with a little hate in his eyes. I could see the pirate I had heard about many times came out to 'play.' Lovino didn't notice it though. I walked over to Spain and smacked his cheek with the backside of my hand. I knew it had to heard like hell.

"What was that for?!" he growled out. Veneziano and Lovino looked shocked, but only Veneziano looked hurt.

"Don't even think about hurting Lovino. If you ever do, I'll make sure that you die. As a person and as a nation. And I'll make it as painful as a I can," I growled out lowly.

"Germany!" Veneziano shouted. He stood up and glared at Germany. "Don't ever hurt him! Why would you do such a thing in the first place?!"

I lost it then.

"WHY?! BECAUSE THIS MAN WAS ONE OF THE FIRST IN THIS WORLD TO HURT YOUR _BRUDER_ AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE IT! hE TRIED TO TRADE HIM FOR YOU AND TRIED TO KICK HIM TO CURB SO MANY TIMES! YOU'RE _BRUDER_ IS THE WAY HE IS NOW BECAUSE OF THIS EXCUSE OF A MAN," I shouted at the top of my lungs at Veneziano. I pointed to Spain the entire time. "YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY YOUR _BRUDER _DOESN'T TRUST YOU ANYMORE? IT'S BECAUSE YOU DON'T PAY ATTENTION. YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING. YOU NEVER NOTICED WHEN YOUR_ BRUDER_ WAS HURT WHEN YOU SHOULD'VE. You're a pathetic excuse of a brother. You should've paid more attention. You're lucky that I'm here for him and care very much for him. Because if I didn't, you probably wouldn't have a _bruder_ anymore. You would be the whole of Italy. But that's what you want isn't it? You never cared for you're brother. You blamed him for the country's troubles as did everyone else. My country tried to do it to before I stopped them."

By the time I was done, Veneziano was sobbing on the floor and I saw Spain stand up and walk over to me. He was bullshit. I didn't care. We went to punch me, but I blocked his hand out of the way and kicked him into the wall. I didn't care if Veneziano was upset, because he deserved it. He obviously didn't care for his brother at all. I turned to Lovino and he was just staring at me, a mixture of fear and awe in his stare. I quickly enveloped him in a hug and he hugged me back.

"Don't do it Spain!" he suddenly shouted and pulled away. Faster than a blink of an eye, he had shot Spain right in the heart. Spain dropped to the ground and the gun he had fell towards Veneziano. The younger man stared at it, then at his _bruder_ before he reached out and picked the gun up. He pointed it at Lovino and pulled the trigger, and I ran in front of the man I loved so much and took the bullet in my heart, dropping to the ground at his feet. I looked at his tear filled face and smiled a small smile before my vision faded to complete blackness.

* * *

**Told You! What's gonna happen to Germany and Spain? What will happen to Romano? What will he do? What will Veneziano do? OMG I'M FREAKIN' OUT! WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!**

**Romano: Calm the fuck down!**

**Me: Sorry *sheepish glance around***

**Veneziano: Ve~! I'm sure everyone will be fine~!**

**Romano: *glares, but Veneziano doesn't notice* **

**Me: Uh-Oh! Well I have to go make sure everything will happen ok. Who knows? I may be beaten by people for what I did. *hides behind America***

**America: Dude, what're ya doin?**

**Me: *glances up* Hiding so I don't get murdered by angry fan-girls?**

**America: *raises eyebrow* oookaaayy?**

**Me: Well bye bye! *waves, quickly hides again***


End file.
